For details on all of the previous steps, look at previous blogs. Step 1: Know yourself. Step 2: Develop a genuine love or acceptance of yourself. Step 3: Expand your knowledge. Step 4: Appreciate the differences. Get perspectives on different values and cultures. Step 5 is to be open, genuine, and positive. Step 6 is to develop a genuine love or at least acceptance of other people. Step 7 is to pay attention to the first five seconds.

Step 8 is to pay attention to the second encounter.

First of all, you are going to remember their name. They will likely not remember yours, so that gives you an advantage. Introduce yourself so they won’t be embarrassed about not remembering your name. Then, talk about them. Let them know that you remember them and those … Read More »

First of all, Happy Valentine’s Day. Have you ever wondered about how people create those connections? In my business, I measure and improve social competence. So it is a very appropriate subject for Valentine’s Day.

Yes. It really is free. No strings attached. Just go to my website at www.brentdarnell.com, click on the download center, register and create a profile, and download away. The Mini EI is self scoring and will give you some clues as to behavior and performance and how people perceive you. The workbook will take you through an analysis and process to create development plans on the areas you want to develop.

But let’s back up a minute. What is EQ? It’s your emotional quotient or your level of social competence. It’s similar to your IQ, but … Read More »

For details on all of the previous steps, look at previous blogs. Step 1: Know yourself. Step 2: Develop a genuine love or acceptance of yourself. Step 3: Expand your knowledge. Step 4: Appreciate the differences. Get perspectives on different values and cultures. Step 5 is to be open, genuine, and positive. Step 6 is to develop a genuine love or at least acceptance of other people.

Step 7 is to pay attention to the first five seconds. What are you supposed to do during the introduction? How should you act? Is it really that important? According to numerous studies, that first impression is vital. In the first few seconds, people will judge your intelligence, your socio-economic status, if you are a good person or not, whether or not they like you, and if … Read More »

Publishing a book seems daunting. But a published book helps with speaking, teaching, and establishing your credibility. And the world of publishing is changing. The traditional route of submitting your book to an agent and/or publisher and letting them bestow grace on you to publish your book is long gone. I had some publishers interested in my book, and they wanted to pay me in the range of five to ten percent. ”So what do I get for that?”, I naively asked. They said, “Nothing.” They do no promotion, no advertising, no book tours. They just do a run and put it into bookstores. When is the last time you bought a book at a bookstore? So they make 90% off your blood, sweat, and tears. It didn’t seem … Read More »

For details on all of the previous steps, look at previous blogs. Step 1: Know yourself. Step 2: Develop a genuine love or acceptance of yourself. Step 3: Expand your knowledge. Step 4: Appreciate the differences. Get perspectives on different values and cultures. Step 5 is to be open, genuine, and positive.

Accept others with all of their limitations. This can be difficult. But once you accept yourself, it’s much easier. I know there are a lot of difficult people out there. There are people you probably consider to be stupid, arrogant, contrary, negative, or full of angst. It’s those people who need acceptance the most. Give them that grace. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Expect the best from them. You will be greatly amazed at how your attitude will affect theirs. When … Read More »

I have recently been named as one of the top 25 Newsmakers for 2011 by Engineering News Record (ENR) magazine. This is the largestl publication for the construction industry, and I am humbled and honored to be on the list with 24 very distinguished honorees. I want to thank my wife, Andrea, who now is my partner in these leadership programs. Also, Kate Cannon, my EI mentor. Also, to all of the companies and participants who have embraced this work with emotional intelligence, I give my sincere thanks. I have learned much more from you than you have learned from these programs.

My mission statement is to help transform the construction/engineering industry. We must find a different way of working. The industry cannot sustain itself with this present business model and culture. It … Read More »

For details on all of the previous steps, look at previous blogs. Step 1: Know yourself. Step 2: Develop a genuine love or acceptance of yourself. Step 3: Expand your knowledge. Step 4: Appreciate the differences. Get perspectives on different values and cultures. This goes for gender differences as well.

Step 5 is to be open, genuine, and positive. And make no mistake. It is a choice.

Take a look at the two photos above. The one on the top is a facial expression that I see often. I work with technical folks and most of them have a neutral face at best, and some have faces that are downright angry looking. If you have a face like the one on the left, the person you meet will fill in the blanks. … Read More »

For details on all of the previous steps, look at previous blogs.

Step 1: Know yourself.

Step 2: Develop a genuine love or acceptance of yourself.

Step 3: Expand your knowledge.

Step 4: Appreciate the differences. Get perspectives on different values and cultures. This goes for gender differences as well.

Learn about and appreciate the differences while emphasizing the similarities. When it comes down to it, we are all human beings who have a need to love and be loved. Find that common connection. For some difficult people your only connection may be that you are both carbon-based life forms. If you can travel more, this is like getting a PhD in relationships. Find out about different cultures, food, art, music, dance, and language. Learn a language if you can. Learn about cultural differences with greetings, meetings, social situations, … Read More »